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 sweet 16 & yet so aimless yes i know i'm petite; thanks i'm daddy's little girl & mummy's precious diamond && Wan's babygirl tagboard
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Love can knocks you down
Saturday, February 6, 2010 As I sit here listening to the fight going on. Between my head and my heart. My head says, I'm the fool while my heart says, I love him so much. My head says, He will hurt you again. My heart says, But he always make me happy. My head says, Look at all the tears he made you cry. My heart says, Yes. But he also gives me pleasure. My head says, You are strong, so get over him. My heart say, He make me feel alive and whole. I need him and I love him. Without him I would only be existing. I slowly shake my head, No. Knowing that my heart has won once more. I'm loss for words. Means I don't what more to say. I'm too numb for words. Means my lips won't part. "He is a good guy. A well balance guy. After those fights, this is all I can say. I just realised that it's not easy to portray that sense of grief and confusion through words. It's just simply hard. Who knows how to fool around and know when to get serious. I've always consider you as a lover, a gentleman, a friend." So I sit here alone, with the wind blowing through my hair, with the tears I've cried so many times slowly falling down my face missing you so much and thinking. Thinking of the moments and memories we've shared together, the good and the bad times, the happy and the sad, the laughter and tears, the forgotten worries and fears. I shall take back my hurting words that I've told you. Cause now, I thought back, you're like my everything. My sun, my moon, my stars that light the sky. You lift me even higher than any other person has before. You complete me. If possible having him standing by my side, supporting me through everything life throws at us, my life will be the best. I just hope that one day I will be able to show how much I actually do love you and how much I really need you in my life as he keeps going, he's my purpose, my reason and my will power to carry on from all those hurty do's and say's. I didn't really mean it. If you're angry, you'll most likely do stupid mistakes that you wouldn't want to do at all and after that you will regret it. I also realised once a relationship becomes more established people start to show their true personality same goes like you're marrying someone. When something unsettling happens both people try to handle things as calmly and diplomatically as possible. Hurt feelings are sucked up and nothing is said. Once the relationship is more established when those same unsettling things happen the person who is bothered speaks up. With the rules suddenly changed the person on the receiving end of the upset feels confused and defensive. If we keep having fights should we just end it or keep creating a new beginning? I always tried to fight it fair for myself but sometime things got out of control. I tried my best to survive, control those tears and be as patience I can be. But it makes the relationship more stronger than ever and there are times they don't at all. Never ever think negatively. There are always sign that the our relationship is moving to a new, more committed level. Isn't that a good thing? I guess so. I hope that both of us could forget all those fights, mistakes and misunderstandings between us. And shall start afresh. Happily ever after. My fingers are so tired after typing all those. Yet still, I'm not stopping just yet. So today, is a superior typical Saturday. I woke up super early. Continue to cry for more. Went out to meet Aris and Kaysean at Bishan Library. Did our DNT work, use the lappy. Cry for more again. Then went off around 2 something since Kaysean went off to somewhere. Me and Aris went AMK Hub, to have our lunch at Mac'D. Prosperity Burger WOOT WOOT. And I just realised AMK also have plenty of mats. Then went to find this badge shop. Couldn't find what I wanted though. The only thing I bought there, was the button plug for my crocs pump shoe and it's a rainbow icon. Ultimately cute ! Took the bus till Little India. Wanted to go to the Art shop near NAFA but it was close. So went to buy Starbucks then off to Aris house to put his stuffs down. Then went out again to Plaza Singapura to check out the scrap-booking second outlet and SPOTLIGHT. I bought a skull thingy to paste at my bag. So gonna bling up that skull lata. After that, I wanted to go home as I was so freaking tired. Train down and I kinda reach SMB at 8. Something freaky happen when I was walking back home. And I really wanna bash him up, But I can't since there was a police behind us. I'm so gonna hunt you down bitch. I feeling so sick in the stomach, much more sickiest ever and extremely down. My tongue hurts like so freaking bad, and I don't even know why. Hmm, what shall I do now? :O Toodles -xoxo, ARINA Labels: label or love Sunday, January 31, 2010 I see no smile of me today. Tears drop non-stop. Where are strength that I needed most of time. Where did it go. " When you are in love and you get hurt, it’s like a cut, it will heal, but there will always be a scar." Ring Ding Ding, I'm back you sizzle.
Sunday, January 24, 2010 Oh wee. It's been a great 2 weeks I didn't update. How awesome, huh. Lotsa things been happening really dramatically and there's the UP's and the DOWN's. School is so school. It's so making me fatigue, lethargic, name all those tired-fucking-feeling-and-stressful words. Geez, it's so killing my brain cells. Anyways, it's the Sunday man. Woke up late, and did some wash up and went to cook breakfast. I ate alot today I guess. After that, fought with my sista who's been cheating all Sunday long. I went to SP with a very grumpy face. I wish I wish I wish, bf is here. Hais. My Saturday was awesome. I went out with bf C: It was totally an unplanned date but oh well we did enjoyed ourselves. He was the sizzling hot guy yesterday and always be every single day, hee C: I just finish watching It's complicated though. Superb. How I wish again that I could watch this and eat ice cream with bf. Muahaha. Tomorrow school damn. I'm so not ready. P/S : Sooner or later, I'm gonna end my part time blogging. So no more blog at this time. Toodles. -xoxo, Arina I love Hasni Jr. (Hahah, if he sees this, I'm so gonna get a smack on the ass) Tears are words the hard can't express
Sunday, January 10, 2010 " What should I do next ? " , this question has been on my mind exactly ever since yesterday night. After each fight, I forgiven you since you started it first, I don't have any idea what to do next. That makes me emotional every single times. I cried all night long till I fall in a deep sleep which was the greatest feeling ever cause it's not the reality. Isn't that true? I wish that I could sleep and only wake up when everything is all fine already. Argument can be the weakest thing for me in a relationship. It's really a suckish feeling. Yes, I'm avoiding. I can't face you now. It's really very unexplainable. And no, I don't hate you. I can't message you because it's hard for me somehow. I don't really know what to reply and react to it. If you were in my shoes, what are you expecting me to react huh. So give a me break. I need to think. What's best for us for a healthy relationship. Having this stupidity fight, does it gain anything? Absolutely, more anger and hatred as for me. Sheesh, I can't stop crying about it. Urgh, seriously, what should I do next. Just forgive and forget and act nothing happen just like that ? Labels: clueless emo |
